Ryan Cade
Much of my art practice focuses on physical methods of depicting internal struggles. These self-portraits are a musing on body image and the conflict of trauma. I am interested in the push and pull between love and disgust I simultaneously have for my body; what does my perception of self look like, and how can I move towards a healthier way of seeing? My goal was to learn more about myself, and through the therapeutic engagement of making art, to begin to have a better relationship with my body.
This work was as much about the process as it is the final images. I made the photographs with a 4x5 camera, developed the film by hand, and would then go back repeatedly to manipulate the film using various heat and chemical techniques. Because the creation of each image was a process that lasted several months, they do not represent isolated moments: they are the collection of my highs and lows, of pieces of moods and thoughts that are often at odds with each other as I go through the healing journey. These photographs are a look inside the eternal, complex cycle of mending and re-breaking.