Lawrence E Manning

Image © Lawrence E Manning

Artist Statement

I am in a constant dialogue with crows. I hear them and listen to them. I don't need to see them to acknowledge their metaphysical significance in my life.
Through my observations, art, studies, and consciousness, I have celebrated not only their physical qualities like intelligence, but their spiritual qualities, wonderfully described in legends, stories, myths, and superstitions. I find meaning through their symbolic and metaphoric qualities and their presence, visible or invisible sustains my life. My images reflect a deep liminal existential presence.

My goal in creating and submitting these images is to externalize my grief and guilt regarding my son's suicide. For over a year I have not been comfortable acknowledging or speaking of his death. I question whether my life has any value, any redeeming grace as I feel so responsible. Failure and depression are moments away from my daily routine. I question in my confused state how to dialogue with myself in the hope of forgiveness and acceptance. I mirror my conversations and needs with my encounters with crows in my art.

I turn to crows and art to provide a space for me to be me, to express myself safely in my existential narratives.

Even as I hide my grief within my art, I lamely admit that it is maybe too early to understand the chaos, depression, and sense of failure that I carry and punish myself with. I want art to be cathartic.

Every image I hope is abstract and conceptual enough to allow the viewer to react and compose their own stories, provide their meaning, and form their impressions of what crows, or nature in a broad sense mean, and how their existence offer comfort. Crows (and nature) are communication with god. They form my theology.

I will keep building upon this body of work. The journey keeps me focused and helps provide a small amount of accomplishment, a wisp or glance of self-esteem.

Lawrence E Manning | Nampa, ID